Our future self is shaped by who we are. And who we are and what we remember are inseparably linked. The things we experience, and of course how we experience them, create a kind of handbook for us. This handbook is about what psychologists call autobiographical memory. However, autobiographical memory is not a record of what happened exactly. What matters are the moments that are important to us and how we perceive them.
As we continue to experience the world, the lens through which we see it changes, and when our perspective on the world changes, not only does our future self change, but our past self also changes. Therefore, our past experiences, our self-perception, and our outlook on the future are parts of a whole. Our past writes our identity, but we also rewrite our past every time.
Who We Are?
When describing who we are, we usually list a few things. Our profession, family situation, perhaps our age, where we’re from… but in our minds, we have a vast autobiographical memory that we can easily access, and some parts that remain somewhat hidden. However, some repeated memories go beyond being a memory and shape our future self.
Our self and our autobiographical memory are quite related. For example, for a child who has successfully completed every class and achieved top grades in exams, the definition of “successful” inevitably seeps from their autobiographical memory into their self. However, sometimes we write new things, and a part of ourselves is turned upside down. New negative experiences can lead us to see ourselves as failures. And so, our past self changes. We look back and think, ‘Maybe my past self was never as successful as I thought I was.’
Our Life Story
We are all writers. According to McAdams’ “life story” model, our personality is the life story in our minds. It constantly changes because we rewrite it each time. Our static, changing, and evolving autobiographical memory connects us to our possible future. For example, I create a story in my mind from my past experiences of success. A story about how I succeeded. My personality is situated at the intersection where this success story connects to the future. “I will succeed.” If our self-perception changes, both the past and the future are affected. “I can’t do anything.”
Some memories from the past are a little more solid than others. Frankly, I don’t know exactly why. But it might be because of the intense emotions they hold, and perhaps because they fill a certain void in our sense of self. I see myself as a hopeful person. Perhaps I’ve experienced many things that would justify the opposite, but there are a few key memories that still allow me to see myself as hopeful.
I used to go for walks listening to music and daydreaming about the future. Therefore, no matter how deep into despair I fall, it’s difficult to rewrite my past from this negative perspective. Perhaps these are the memories that protect me, leaving me with hope for the future.
The Liberating Promise of the Future
Our personality has a genetic blueprint. However, our experiences fill in and change this blueprint.Therefore, even if your past self was born into a different environment, you would have a different personality today. Our past self is both a foundation and a draft that we are constantly editing. But you could find something reminiscent of you in all possible personalities. That’s why our personality is both somewhat stable and somewhat open to change.
We experience the most change during periods when we encounter the most new situations. For example, our sense of responsibility becomes more defined when we start a new job. And if we look closely, we can see many new experiences, especially during young adulthood. If you’re wondering how personality can be both stable and changeable, the work of Caspi, Roberts, and Shiner on this subject is a good starting point.
Future Self: How to Change It?
We also have a self-image regarding the future, don’t we? It consists of the things we want to do in the future and perhaps the things we no longer want to do.You might currently feel defined by a past self who struggled with addictions or unemployment. But that past self does not own your future; you can visualize a future self that is free and responsible. However, the effectiveness of this future image depends on how vividly and intensely you feel it. It’s precisely in these aspects that you can find something related to motivation. The future always pulls you in different directions, but not always with the same force.
So how do we change and strengthen our perception of the future? Athletes often use a tactic: imagining yourself there, visualizing yourself reaching the summit. It might not mean looking at the mountain and picturing where you started climbing and reaching the top. However, thinking about how you can reach that future waiting in the back of your mind, and imagining yourself as if you’ve already reached it, is a good starting point. Episodic memory, which allows us to remember the past, and episodic future thinking use the same neural mechanisms. If you design your future, your brain will fill in the gaps leading there. n
Rewrite your Past, Shape the Future Self
The most important part of a story is that there are no discontinuities between events. Everything is interconnected. Our brain is an expert at finding similarities between events, establishing these connections, and bridging the gaps. Or perhaps we could say it’s obsessive about it. Our mind maintains a continuity between our perception of the past, present, and future. Self-continuity, at this point, shows us the whole story. By strategically using our memories and shaping the future, we create this self-continuity in our minds and build a coherent self.
Think about it, do you really want to climb that mountain? There must be something in your past that relates to it. Maybe you have a sporting background, or simply a love of nature. You may have had a desire to achieve something great. Or maybe you’ve never been the first to do anything before. Once you find these key memories of your past, the story will unfold naturally. You aren’t just remembering; you are strategically choosing which past self to carry forward.
There was a time when you didn’t see yourself as successful as a child; your teacher called you a failure in front of everyone in the class. However, later you had new experiences that showed you were successful in sports. This changed your perception of the past. You were actually successful. Now you want to climb that mountain; you’ve imagined how you’ll climb it and what you’ll feel when you reach the top. Now you’re ready to climb that mountain. But be careful, you will change with every step.
Amazing 🥹